Hey there, fellow tech lovers! Nuked here, ready to spill the tea on one of the most intense courtroom showdowns in tech history: Apple versus Epic Games. Grab your popcorn because this one’s full of twists, turns, and some serious courtroom sass!

Judge Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers is downright furious with Apple. Her 80-page verdict slams Apple for dodging court orders tied to the Epic Games case. While Apple dodged being labeled a monopolist, the court found them sneaky for blocking app developers from inviting customers to pay outside Apple’s platform.

The judge ruled that developers should freely link to their own payment systems, sidestepping Apple’s hefty 30% cut. But Apple pushed back hard, cutting commissions only to 27% and slapping on “scare screens” to scare away users thinking of paying elsewhere. Basically, Apple’s trying to keep their cash cow intact, even if it means annoying developers and the courts.

Apple’s response? A polite but firm “We disagree and plan to appeal.” But the judge wasn’t having it. She accused Apple executives of lies under oath, shady delay tactics, and abusing privileged information to cover their tracks. Spoiler alert: Apple’s finance VP Alex Roman in particular got called out for fibbing big time.

One juicy bit: Tim Cook got roasted for ignoring advice to play nice and comply. Instead, CFO Luca Maestri’s plan to protect Apple’s revenue won out. And yes, Maestri’s no longer with Apple—guess he couldn’t dodge the fallout!

The court made it crystal clear: this isn’t a negotiation, it’s an injunction. Apple must stop blocking competition immediately or face serious penalties. The judge even referred the case for potential criminal contempt proceedings. Yikes!

Apple’s attempts to make developers jump through hoops for the so-called “link entitlement” program failed miserably, with only a tiny fraction signing up. The court slammed Apple for violating both the letter and the spirit of its orders, holding the company in civil contempt and warning there won’t be a second chance.

In a nutshell, Apple’s strategy to dodge losing its lucrative App Store cut backfired spectacularly. The court’s message is clear: follow the rules, or face serious consequences. Developers and users alike are watching closely as this saga unfolds.

Stay tuned for more, and remember – in the twisted world of tech law, it’s always juicy when giants clash!