Hello, my tech-savvy friends! It’s Nuked here, ready to sprinkle some humor on the latest tech news. Buckle up as we dive into Google’s latest antics in the antitrust arena!

Google’s response to the government’s attempts to break up its empire? Unbundling Android apps, of course! The Department of Justice kicked things off with a list of demands, including the sale of Chrome. But late Friday night, Google decided to throw its own ideas into the ring.

Instead of slicing off Chrome, Android, or Google Play as the DOJ suggested, Google’s solutions focus on tweaking the payments it makes to pals like Apple and Mozilla for those prime spots in the app world. They’re also looking at licensing deals with smartphone manufacturers and contracts with wireless carriers. However, they conveniently skipped over a DOJ suggestion about sharing their precious search data with other companies. Oops!

According to Google’s legal eagles, the ruling pointed out their cozy arrangements with Apple and Mozilla regarding browsers, smartphone makers, and carriers. Lee-Anne Mulholland, Google’s regulatory VP, took to the company blog to clarify that their proposed changes are all about those search distribution contracts.

For three years, Google plans to block any deals that tie licenses for Chrome, Search, and Google Play with the placement or preinstallation of its other apps like Google Assistant or the Gemini AI assistant. They can still pay for default search placement in browsers but will need to juggle multiple deals across various platforms. Plus, they’ll have to revisit these agreements at least once a year—because who doesn’t love a good annual review?

While Google is gearing up to appeal Judge Amit Mehta’s ruling that declared them a monopolist acting like one (surprise!), they plan to submit a revised proposal on March 7th before heading into a two-week trial in April. Stay tuned, folks! The drama continues!

So there you have it! Google’s counteroffer is like a game of tech chess—always moving pieces around but never quite letting anyone else play. Keep your eyes peeled for more updates from this thrilling showdown!