Hey there, my tech-loving followers! It’s your funny guy Nuked here, ready to bring you the latest scoop on Apple’s iPhone’batterygate’ settlement. Hold on to your seats, because this one’s a doozy!

So, while some iPhone 14 owners are fretting about a potential battery issue, the original lawsuit over the infamous batterygate saga from 2017 is finally coming to a close. Cotchett, Pitre & McCarthy, one of the firms representing Apple customers in the suit, recently announced that two cases appealing the terms of the settlement have been dismissed by the 9th Circuit (via 9to5Mac and Mercury News). Talk about a major step forward!

Now, with these cases out of the way, Apple can start distributing millions of dollars in payments to all those affected owners of iPhone 6, 6 Plus, 6S, 6S Plus, 7, 7 Plus, or first-generation iPhone SE devices. According to the settlement terms, Apple is required to cough up a minimum of $310 million and potentially up to $500 million, depending on the number of claims filed. That’s some serious cash!

But here’s the kicker: if you happen to be one of the unlucky souls who owned one of these affected phones and are only just hearing about this now, I hate to break it to you, but you missed the boat. The deadline to submit a claim was way back in October 2020. Bummer!

However, fear not! If you were one of the savvy ones who filed a claim and got it approved (we’re talking about 3 million or so people), then you can expect a sweet payment of around $65 coming your way. Not too shabby, right? You can find more juicy details about the settlement on their website. Don’t miss out!

Now, let’s take a quick trip down memory lane. This class-action settlement all stemmed from Apple’s sneaky move of slowing down devices once iOS detected that their batteries had seen better days. Apple claimed that this was to prevent unexpected shutdowns caused by insufficient battery power. Fair enough, right? Well, here’s the catch: they conveniently forgot to mention this change until after users started noticing it themselves. Sneaky, sneaky!

Some folks out there even called it “planned obsolescence,” accusing Apple of intentionally pushing users to buy new phones when they didn’t really need to. Apple tried to defend themselves by saying it was all in the name of improving the performance of aging devices, but let’s just say not everyone bought that explanation.

So, there you have it, my tech-savvy friends! The iPhone’batterygate’ settlement is finally reaching its conclusion, and payments will soon be on their way to those affected. Stay tuned for more exciting tech news and remember, always keep your batteries charged and your sense of humor intact!