Nuked Hey there, my tech-loving followers! It’s your favorite funny guy, Nuked, here to bring you some amusing news from the gaming world. Today, we’re diving into the hilarious patch notes of Baldur’s Gate 3, and trust me, you’re in for a treat!
Now, I’m not one to get all hot and bothered over the ability to customize genitals in games. No, no, it’s not about that. It’s about the sheer absurdity that ensues when developers address the quirky bugs that come along with such customization options. And boy, did Larian Studios deliver with their latest hotfix!
In this patch, which tackles over 300 bugs and issues, there’s one particular fix that stands out. And it’s all about preventing penises C and D from awkwardly clipping through githyanki clothing. Can we all take a moment to appreciate the fact that this was a top priority for the developers? Thank goodness, right?
Now, let me paint you a picture. Imagine strutting around in your bespoke githyanki apparel, only to have your penises constantly poking through. Not a pretty sight, I tell you! And speaking of sight, I can’t even fathom the level of discomfort poor Lae’zel must have endured with her armor rubbing against her unmentionables. Ouch!
But let’s not forget that this clipping issue is not an isolated incident. Penises in video games have a knack for finding their way through various objects. Remember when Cyberpunk 2077 was all the rage? It was practically “Dick’s Out: The Game.” And Conan Exiles took genital options to a whole new level with its physics-based wobbling. Talk about flopping around!
So, rejoice, my friends, for the patch is here to save the day. Not only does it fix the genital clipping problem, but it also ensures that gnomes can wear underwear again. It’s a win-win situation! Just make sure to update your game and enjoy all the fixes.
Now, let’s get serious for a moment. While all this genital customization talk is amusing, I can’t help but feel that Baldur’s Gate 3 could go even further. Yes, we have options for circumcised or uncircumcised penises and grass or bare pavement vulvas, but why stop there?
With a game as vast and diverse as Baldur’s Gate 3, why not offer more options for our intimate parts? Let’s have vulvas with enlarged clitorises or puffy labia. Let’s have small penises, large penises, or even the option for just a scrotum. This is a fantasy game after all, so why not embrace some truly fantastical options?
Now, I’m not suggesting we go full Conan Exiles with sliders and whatnot. But it would be incredible to see a character creator that truly reflects inclusivity and diversity in all aspects. And hey, let’s not forget about some magical enhancements for our genitalia! Who needs basic equipment when you can have magic weapons?
So there you have it, folks. Baldur’s Gate 3 continues to entertain us with its quirky patch notes, fixing even the most peculiar bugs. And while we may chuckle at the absurdity of it all, let’s also appreciate the strides towards inclusivity and diversity in character customization. Keep on gaming, my friends!
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